Babykino *EDIT*

If you're been following along, or have ever been to Norway, you've probably got it by now that some things are a bit different here.

Portion sizes are smaller, foods are less processed, most everyone drives a stick (and not a Hummer) and garages are seldom part of the house. Sick and maternity leave are legit. Like really alright. Maybe even too alright (but hey that's another post for another time!). There's a lot more political parties, a public transport system that works a tad bit better and of course a measuring system that is actually logical.

I feel like more people smoke here. Or maybe more often. And get drunker. Maybe they drink less often, but get more intoxicated when they first get to it (although I must add Norwegians are super stars when it comes to NOT driving drunk!). There's also a lot less of...well everything. Less choice when it comes to food, activities--you name it. And less accessibility. Stores close early on Saturdays, aren't open at all on Sundays or holidays. If you forgot the turkey for Thanksgiving (which is obviously not celebrated here ;) but just a good example), you're out of luck; there's no Albertsons open until five to save the day. There's also the classic "open on Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other Saturday but not from 11-12.30 when they have lunch" kind of hours.

Movie theaters are no exception--I've never encountered one that opens before 4pm. But today while reading the newspaper, soaking up the sun (the weather has been incredible lately!) and drinking a glass of white wine in my bikini on our awesome balcony after a glorious chicken salad dinner, I learned that once in awhile there are 12 o'clock showings at the Hamar movie theater. They are called babykino. Baby means baby, kino means the movies or movie theater...so Baby Theater? Something like that...but the point is babies are allowed--welcome even!

This is one of the many, small reasons why life in Norway makes me smile. What a great offer for moms or dads that are staying at home enjoying the awesome m/paternity leave offered and bonding with their kid over a cinematic adventure, all while simultaneously NOT ruining the entire experience for other kid-free viewers.

Go Norway, I like the your style.
Babykino, what a great idea!
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*EDIT*

I got some great comments on this post right away, pointing out that Babykino in some forms also exist in the US! I suspected this might be true (because seriously, finding things Norway has that the U.S. doesn't is a heavy task!) and thought I threw a disclaimer in there, but that slipped my mind. Must have been the wine. Or the slight sun burn. ;) So that's great. Go USA, I like your style too.

And since I'm in here editing my post already, I would love to give a shout out to my life long friend Tim who is currently living in Australia who wrote me an email commenting on this post. I have copied his work for years and see no reason to stop now. His thoughts cracked me up:

your piece about store hours and such in Norway was close to my heart.  Oz is the same way, it's a strange adjustment some days.

for any of the negatives, I really appreciate how countries like ours (adopted) actually focus on taking care of the populace.  what a novel fucking idea.  what's that?  time off when you bring a new human into the world?  a minimum wage you can actually live on?  healthcare so you won't go bankrupt from a hospital admission?  affordable education?

and for all that, we suffer a lack of 24 hour Walmarts where we can buy cheap shit we don't need at all hours because you can't afford to staff the atrocity.  i'll take it.  

Plus how cool is it that he calls my blog post "a piece"? I love and miss this man. 

And since it is "winter" in Australia, I will conclude with this glorious picture of Tim and myself:

We used to make Muddy Buddies (Chex Mix coverered in everything bad for you and sprinkled with powdered sugar? Nasty) and drive them around to all of our closest mutual friends. Now that's holiday spirit! 

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Foot in Mouth!

It's been a long time since I've shared a Foot in Mouth post...and NO folks, it's not because I speak Norwegian perfectly and don't ever make mistakes. It's just that my mistakes aren't as entertaining anymore. They're even borderline boring. Or maybe just funny for those that also speak Norwegian.

So I have to share a mistake I made quite some time ago and can't really believe that I haven't shared yet. I thought of it last night when I was reading Rik's blog and he related some of his issues with the word for bag (like a plastic grocery bag) in Norwegian and how he did a little jig one day when he pronounced it correctly.

The word is pose. It's challenging for us English speakers to learn to make this 'o' sound. It doesn't exist in English first of all, and it's really important in Norwegian. The word good for example--god. That's something one says fairly often, but if you can't quite wrap your tongue around that 'o' sound as an English speaker is comes out sounding a bit like gud or Gud I should say, because it means God. So think on that one a little while---anytime in the first months that I meant to say good, it is likely that people heard God. All the assumptions about Americans being strangely religious were confirmed.

But it gets even better and definitely more entertaining. The verb å kose (which means to cuddle or in many other senses to enjoy) rhymes with pose and is equally as challenging. Norwegians use it a lot to say they are having a good time. For example: Jeg skal kose meg med ei flaske vin i kveld. This is challenging to translate into English but literally it would be: I am going to enjoy (myself) a bottle of wine tonight. Get the idea? It's an important colloquial verb to know and to be able to use. Enough said.

One time when Lars and I were visiting his family in Tynset, we were at a sports store and I tried on a cross country skiing jacket that was just a little bit too small. And so I, being the educated American girl that I am, quoted Tommy Boy and Chris Farley and said that I felt like a "faaaat guy in a liiiitle coat". Lars didn't get it, neither did Stine. They hadn't seen the movie! Which is appalling if you have any idea what kinds of movies Lars likes; it's totally up his alley. So I wanted to say that we should go home and enjoy that movie, but I didn't quite make the 'o' sound, friends. So they heard: Lars, da skal du og jeg hjem og kuse oss med den filmen!
Lars, then you and I are going to go home and pussy ourselves with that movie!


Awesome! The best part was that I think I realized it first and started laughing hysterically in the sports store.

Insert foot in mouth here!

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Patrik 1,5

Patrik 1,5 is now officially on the list of the best movies I have ever seen.

It is a Swedish comedy/drama from 2008 which documents the process a gay couple undergo in attempting to adopt a child. Although they are married, no country is willing to let a gay couple adopt any of its children. Initially they are turned down by the adoption agency. Just when there seemed to be no hope, Sven and Göran get news that a Swedish orphan needs a home and they readily agree to adopt him! This is where Patrik 1,5 comes into the picture--Patrik who is listed as a 1,5 years old orphan baby turns out to be Patrik, a 15 year old teenager with a troubled criminal background and homophobic beliefs. Oops! Just a little typo there!

It made me laugh out loud, it made me think (a lot) and it made me cry (just a little). It is a movie that masterfully pushed and pulled on my emotions. It was brilliant, in my opinion.

Seriously, I can recommend it unconditionally,... unless of course you are narrow minded, homophobic or otherwise intolerant. Then, by all means--STAY AWAY!

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Lisa Lately

When I haven't been waiting tables lately, I have been staying up late-- scoring over Norwegian job sites, searching for work permit worthy jobs. And reading books. And stressing about packing all my stuff across the Atlantic and missing my family. And watching movies. And missing Lars, and learning some new recipes. And catching up with old friends, connecting with new ones and dancing the night away to live music. And changing diapers, and handing popsicles number seven and eight to my grandma (who definitely doesn't remember eating numbers one through six). And kicking ass, and taking names.

There isn't too much time left before I leave the country and I think subconsciously I have been trying to do as much as possible, prolonging bed time until 3 or 4 in the morning to make the most of the 24 hours in each of the few days I have left.

My plan isn't working, however. I need my sleep. And thus I end up sleeping late in the day and then puttering around for an hour or so before realizing that it is basically time to get in the shower and try to put together a work-appropriate ensemble (nice, but not too nice) since all my usual work clothes are dirty.

It's a vicious cycle, and one that I probably won't break anytime soon. So I will instead leave you with some recommendations: Read The Lovely Bones--it honestly changed my life. My Sister's Keeper was good too, although I feel like I should have cried but never did.

Watch 17 Again (if you're in the mood for a feel-good flick) and if you don't expect much, like I didn't, you just might be surprised with Zac Effron--he is actually talented for a teeny-bopper. Duplicity is also worth your time. I watched My Life in Ruins, which I don't necessarily recommend but for which I don't have a lot of negative criticism to offer either. The Proposal was pretty darn funny. Bullock is getting hotter as she gets older, and I finally was able to take Reynolds seriously. DO NOT see Couple's Retreat. Instead, watch the preview. That's basically the entire movie.

As for me, I'm prolonging bedtime and watching Slumdog Millionaire.

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Hamar Kino

First of all, k's in Norwegian are usually pronounced like shhh and not the typical sharp k sound we are used to in English. So the word kino, or movie theater is pronounced shino, not kino like we would say it in English. Or if you are familiar with IPA, the Norwegian word for the movies would be like so: çiːno.

Now that we have that straight and you can successfully read the title of the post, I have to share a bit about Lars and I's recent experience at the kino. This story is a few weeks old, but even so, it just keeps spinning around and around in my head and making me laugh so I have to share.

First some background--for Christmas, my sisters sent me the Twilight series straight out of Forks, WA that I was doing my best to avoid. The whole vampire-teenage-angst-werewolf love triangle situation just didn't really seem all that appealing to me. So I was a bit surprised when the package that I ripped open in excitement was full to the brim with these lengthy books. I should have known they would suck me in because the fact my sisters Cori and Chris were hooked was the best indication of an addictive series; my sister Cori reads all the time and has great taste in novels. She has successfully recommended books to me for years. Chris, on the other hand, doesn't really read books--ever actually. So the combination of Chris's, Cori's and my sister-in-law Ashley's reaction to the books should have been enough to get me on the wagon.

So against my own wishes I started reading, and I was instantly happy they sent them to me--I was hooked immediately. I read the entire series in less than a week and my life was absolutely consumed by the books. I didn't want to do anything else until I could finish the story!

Even though I personally really enjoyed the impossible love story, it is also easy to understand why someone else might not. The books are a bit young, and they center on a love that if you are to analyze it, is a bit unhealthy and obsessive. I would argue however that they are books that should not be interpreted for much more than they are, and instead just enjoyed on the adventurous and mystical level that they reach us on. With that said, I found this hilarious Twilight bash online (click here to read) which actually made me laugh out loud. The author does admit to being as obsessed with the books as anyone else, but I think she also tries (in vain) to separate herself from the rest of us crazed fans (because that makes her a stronger woman, right? Right? Guys?). Even though I think she is holding back a bit, I also completely and one hundred percent agree and sympathize with the author's uh, frustration, or maybe it is better to just go ahead and qualify her frustration as a sexual frustration. I won't give any more away, except to say if you are also a Twilight fan that was waiting and waiting and waiting for the sex scene, than you might need to check out that link there. So funny.

But back to the movie theater...I was planning on meeting a girl named Imli (who may or may not be the biggest Twilight fan in the world) at the movies one Sunday afternoon\evening. I had finished the series, and wanted to see if the movie could even compete. It was Imli's 5th time seeing the movie since it had arrived in the Hamar Kino. Lars made the choice of his own free will to be nice enough to come with me (although I think he regretted it instantly later).

So we are sitting in the very front row, with quite a few unoccupied seats on either side of us. In Norway (and most European countries to my knowledge) the seats are numbered. There is no free seating like there is in the U.S.--each ticket has a number that corresponds with a seat. So a lady came walking in front of us, completely focused on finding Plass Nummer 6; it was obvious that it was of the utmost importance for her to be in the proper seat. Plass Nummer 6 happened to be directly on my right. Then a group of four girls came who were hoping to fit in the seats to the left of Lars, but as he and I were in seats 4 and 5 there wasn't enough room for all of them. They came down to ask the woman next to us if the three of us could just move down one seat to make room for the group of friends. The woman wasn't having it. She was insisting, louder and louder I might add, that she was in the right place and that she wasn't moving and that those were the rules! The young spokesgirl for the group of friends was slightly embarrassed as she walked away, and I felt a bit helpless watching as they were trying to decide who was going to sit on the floor so they could all drool over Edward's sparkly good looks in unison.

So I made a decision that Lars will probably never forgive me for (haha) and asked the woman if it was possible for her to just move one seat down so the girls could all sit together. The woman responded to me like no one had ever talked to her so nicely in her life, and agreed readily. I instantly made a new best friend that wanted to talk to me for the rest of the movie. Great. So maybe I regretted the decision a little as I had to repeatedly ask the woman to be quiet because we had to watch the movie and to stop asking me questions because I was trying to watch. But I was polite. As polite and as patient as humanly possible. It always feels good to reach out to someone who is obviously a little (or a lot) off the mark on the 'normal' scale and try to make their experience a little more enjoyable.

I was polite all the way through the previews mind you. It wasn't until about halfway through the movie that I couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. You see, this woman had been sporadically reading the Norwegian subtitles out loud to herself as the actors were speaking them on screen. I am pretty sure I was the only one who could hear that...but I am positive that the entire audience (which was packed full with 14 year old potential Norwegian supermodels and sometimes their obliging boyfriends, mind you) could hear her randomly yelling, and I mean yelling out key lines in the movie: 'Bella!' 'Edward!' She was yelling the characters names, and sometimes their emotions but I think I actually choked on a salty piece of popcorn when she started ad libbing the film with her own romantic interpretations.

All in all, it was a hilarious experience. Lars and I have interesting luck in movie theaters. When we went to see Stepbrothers in Tacoma this summer we witnessed a family meltdown which resulted in them getting kicked out. And then our recent mall purchases got stolen. And then the ninjas attacked. But I didn't find five dollars.

Also, if any of you are interested in reading an illegally posted (but now recognized by the author) link of Midnight Sun... vær så god. It is another version of the first book in the Twilight series as seen through the eyes of Edward...Come on, I know you all want to get in his head. ;)

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